Priorities, Priorities

#229: What I'd rather do

Studies are such a distraction to wedding planning.

Growing a Social Conscience

#228: At B-School

Poverty had always been a nebulous issue as far as I was concerned. It was too prevalent, too present to solve in a country where roughly 80% live in or close to poverty. I grew up interacting with kids from a squatter's area behind our village. They called me "Ate" (big sister) and I saw them as fascinating kids who had more smiles than they had resources or opportunities.

Growing up, you become self-absorbed - more conscious about getting the grades to get into the right university, getting the grades to graduate with honours, getting the grades to get the right job, getting the performance ratings to get the promotion and so on. Poverty faded into the background as bigger and bigger paychecks started rolling in, signalling your growing financial freedom. Freedom to eat at fancy schmancy restuarants, go on frequent travels, buy more shoes and bags than an animal with several shoulders and feet would ever need. Poverty became invisible even as you drove through streets and streets of dilapidated shacks and running kids with bulging tummies and without underpants. Poverty became a mere concept.

Very much like the concept of corruption in the government. It's there. Everyone knows it. It's just too prevalent and too present to solve in a country where education has less priority versus entertainment. You see politicians dancing and singing in campaigns but which of these have ever clearly laid out plans for educating the same stupid masses they count on to give inexperienced (even incompetent) characters such as they, the key to the judicial, legislative and executive functions of the country? And so we continue to feed idiots into our government. And these people proceed to make idiots out of everyone of us by robbing us blind while they're in power.

In one of the readings for my International Business Strategy class, I stumbled on this line from World Bank President (1999) James D. Wolfensohn:

"At the core of the incidence of poverty is the issue of equity. And at the core of the issue of equity is the issue of corruption."

Simple, right? Everyone knows that. I thought I knew it as well. But it hit me extra hard today. In the said class, we've been discussing how weak institutions - weak contract enforcement, weak investor protection, weak intellectual property protection, corruption and political instability - deter economic development by discouraging foreign direct investment. Why would richer nations want to invest in our country's development when our own government doesn't seem to be doing its job in developing an environment conducive for free and fair trade? You look at the weak institutions enumerated above and most, if not all of them, can best be addressed by political will to improve the nation's state. We can all self-regulate as individuals and as corporations but when a market entity bigger than us continues to undermine progress by sheer incompetence or greed, how much can we really achieve?

And so, class after class, I watch with dread as the Philippines continually appears at the bottom of each list be it in terms of GDP per capita, Puchasing Power Parity-adjusted income, or economic growth, or corruption perception index and a whole slew of other things.

Isn't it ironic that my awareness of poverty has been re-awakened while living in the richest country in the world? Ironic as well that I'm less apathetic towards the Philippine government and how it's being run as I anticipate living long-term in a country known for having one of the lowest levels of corruption (Australia is at the 98th percentile of the Transparency index, higher than Germany or USA.) Isn't it ironic that while undergoing a masteral degree in managing organizations to maximize profits, I am growing more and more concerned about more equitable ways to distribute wealth?

I guess the next key question I have to grapple with is: So what can be done?

The One That Got Away

#227: Bangkok Bag

I was in Bangkok in 2003 for a week-long meeting. The meetings would start at 9am and end at around 6pm. Then the REAL day would start. Our first night (which was in Pat Pong) was a visual assault of sorts. I'm not talking about the pole-dancing ladies inside bars giving "come-hither" looks to people walking on the streets. I'm talking about the rows upon rows of stalls that sell sarongs, shoes, souvenirs, bags... Everything. Everything that you can haggle for, you can find there. I was thrilled yet surprisingly restrained. A colorful hat, a bag I kind of liked but could've done without, and pair of drawstring pants were all I got. Pretty okay but no eureka moment yet.

The second night, our hosts took us to a posh mall. My shop-itchy hands took a bit of rest as I knew there was no bargain waiting for me there. We were led out soon after so that we could be shuttled off to our welcome dinner at Shangri-La Bangkok. It was then that I caught a glimpse of this beautiful black purse on a stall just outside the mall. We were running on a very tight schedule but it called to me and I just had to check it out. The first price they quoted was reasonable. I could haggle more but didn't really need to or want to. I could've gotten it there and then. But someone said that there were more stalls, more days for us to go around. I could find a better bag. And so I gave it one last look and reluctantly let it go. As they said, I could find a better bag.

3 nights after, I had several shopping bags of several pairs of shoes, a couple of purses and lots of trinkets from many different markets and malls. We went to Lumpini, Maboongkrong, Chatuchak...but I never saw a bag like it again. I flew back to the Philippines the following day and for a couple of weeks scoured the malls for something like it or maybe something better. But nothing grabbed me. Nothing was like the bag I left in Bangkok.

That was 4 years ago. I've bought at least 4 or 5 black purses since. None of them ever matched the bag that got away.

Live Case

#226: A Case of Real Life

Real life does not come in neatly-packaged 15-page cases with exhibits.
It comes dumped in a big pile, with additional pieces falling simultaneously at times, randomly at others. And so there isn't really a perfectly right decision, is there? Every single one is tainted by lack of information, by risks and gambles, by our limitations and flaws as humans. And no framework, no matter how good, can be enough to come up with the perfect solution.

We can only try.

Today

#225: It Snowed


1. It snowed. Like crazy. Whipping, angry winds with whipping angry snow. (And it's spring for goodness' sake!)
2. I ate good breakfast for a change - cinammon donut, strawberries, melons and grapes.
3. I attended Kellogg's Women's Business Association Conference.
4. I heard a top woman executive acknowledge that you can't have it all.
5. I got a free bag. And a free calculator. And a free pedometer. (All the signs point to the gym.)
6. I learned more about a friend. Her story resonated with me and I appreciated her more. I'm thankful to the Lord that I have Gloria.
7. I made a new friend. Carolina from Chile who thinks Australia is the best place in the world. We have that in common.
8. I had the best lunch I've ever had on campus since I got here. Angel hair pasta with shrimps in tomato sauce, mortadella with brie, roasted asparagus and artichoke hearts, plus blueberry panna cotta.
9. I listened to one of the coolest professors I've ever encountered. (And he managed to impress the whole crowd within the first 5 minutes of the panel discussion.)
10. I heard the weirdest story of how a woman became CEO. Her husband died of a heart attack while she was driving and the following week, she was told to get dressed because she's taking over the company. Her first line, "What should I wear?" Up to now, she doesn't care about EBITDA. Nor about matching purses and shoes.
11. My entrepreneurial side got inspired. Again. 3rd time in 3 days. (But I don't think I'll fuel it within the next 10 years. But well, who knows?)
12. A woman CEO said that there is no way you can ever plan your career. You can try but there's really no telling where you'll end up. (And I heard shattering glass as hearts around me broke. Maybe including mine.)
13. I got items 1-12 for a measly USD15.00 registration fee. (Feels like I won something.)
14. I had a 2-hour negotiation for a compensation package. I think the other party conned me into conceding on several issues. (It's all pretend. The feeling of losing is however real.)
15. I wished Andrew was here to see me through items 1-14. (Well, the truth is, I wish this everyday. But more so today because it snowed.)

Rusty Brown and Cold

#224: Ice Baby

After a little over 2 weeks here, my assessment of Chicago remains unchanged: it is rusty brown and cold.

We took the train last Friday to go downtown and as I looked out, there was nothing but an hour's worth of brown houses. And brown stores. And brown trees. And brown streets. We had to change trains midway and we had to wait in a brown train station, and boy was it cold.

The train ride was torturous. The tracks were old and squeaky and there was no rhyme or reason to the slowing down and speeding up of the train cars. They just happened randomly - in stomach-turning, mind-bending staccato that left me feeling queasy and ready to vomit my humble bagel-and-butter lunch. I spent the last 6 stops with my head in my hands, my palms keeping my mouth closed lest a random jolt sent me spewing.

So we arrive in Michigan Avenue and the trees are, well, also brown. It was a shopping trip fpr gloves and scarves but surprise, surprise, the shops no longer carried such ridiculous items. They looked at us like we were asking them to sell us human liver. All they had were spring dresses. Apparently, when Chicago gets to -5C weather, it's time to wear above-the-knee cotton dresses with floral prints. I wanted to cry. But then ice cubes will gently stream down my face.

What Good Friday is About

#223: The Power of The Cross

Oh to see the dawn of the darkest day
Christ on the road to Calvary
Tried by sinful men, torn and beaten then
Nailed to the cross of wood

Chorus 1:
This the pow'r of the cross
Christ became sin for us
Took the blame bore the wrath
We stand forgiven at the cross

Oh to see the pain written on Your face
Bearing the awesome weight of sin
Ev'ry bitter thought, ev'ry evil deed
Crowning Your bloodstained brow

Chorus 1

Now the daylight flees, now the ground beneath
Quakes as its Maker bows His head
Curtain torn in two, dead are raised to life
"Finished" the vict'ry cry

Chorus 1

Oh to see my name written in the wounds
For through Your suff'ring I am free
Death is crushed to death, life is mine to live
Won through Your selfless love

Chorus 2:
This the pow'r of the cross
Son of God slain for us
What a life, what a cost
We stand forgiven at the Cross

2005 ThankYou Music CCLI # 4490766

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They sang this at church today during the Good Friday service. And isn't this what Good Friday is about? We have it so good because on this day, Christ was beaten, scoffed, spat on and crucified for our sins. We have it good this Friday because we remember the wrath that God poured on His Son as He bore our transgressions. We have it good because on such a dark day, the way to heaven was made clear. And there He was, hanging on the cross like a common criminal, so that humans can have the uncommon hope of eternal life.

How real is this story to you?
How real is Good Friday to you?

Lonely Illinois

#222: All Boxed Up

And the loneliness hits. At 7pm. On my 2nd Chicago Tuesday. When nothing awaits but a frozen meal. All of 250 calories. And around 100 pages of readings.

I miss laughter. I wish it came in those Chinese takeout boxes so I could just stick them in the fridge and consume when needed.

What I have on my plate now is being the representative for the exchange student group at the Kellogg Student Association. Monica would have been thrilled. I wonder what the role means outside of having something to do apart from just being locked up in this white box I now call my room. Well, it is another line in my CV. It is a reason to be happy. Small. But a reason.

Let me be happy. On a night like this, I need all reason I can get my hands on to be.